


Apart

by zeldadestry



Category: Nikita (TV 2010)
Genre: Episode Related, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-11
Updated: 2012-05-11
Packaged: 2017-11-05 04:58:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/402676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeldadestry/pseuds/zeldadestry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Awwww, nerd.”  Nikita rolls towards him and puts her right arm across his chest to give him half a hug.   “You’re cranky because you miss Alicia, aren’t you?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apart

**Author's Note:**

> coda for episode 2.2 "Falling Ash"

They’re drunk and indulging it, lying on their backs on the floor, staring up through Birkoff’s skylight and trying to name the constellations.

“The stars are pretty,” Michael says and Birkhoff laughs at him. “They are. Shut up.”

“This is your fault,” Birkhoff says, stuffed on lasagna and chocolate cake, and strangely satisfied by it. “Who knew you could cook?”

“Who knew neither of you could hold your red wine?” Nikita giggles.

He’s spent too much of his life not being included, often by his own choice, yeah, but sometimes because shitty people tend to judge him from the outside and then ignore him. Even Michael and Nikita, who really are his friends, don’t exactly consider him an equal. And, even if they did, no one can get in between what they have together. And that’s ok, he knows he’s not the biggest mofo here, but he is part of this, part of the team, and that means certain other people need to show him more respect. “So, Owen’s kind of a dick,” he says. 

“You just have to get to know him,” Nikita says. “He and Michael didn’t get along at first, either, and now they’re cool, right?”

“Yeah, we’re cool,” Michael says, “but I still want to know how he could afford his new gear.”

Nikita pokes at Birkhoff’s chin with her thumb. He bats at her hand, but doesn’t really bother to push her away. She’s a cat and he’s her chew toy and totally cool with it. “So why don’t you like him?” she asks.

“Oh, how about because he threatened me with physical violence?”

“I’ve threatened you with physical violence!”

“He called me computer boy!”

Nikita laughs. “Would you prefer to be called Seymour?”

“I would, actually. It is my fucking name, you know.”

“Awwww, nerd.” Nikita rolls towards him and puts her right arm across his chest to give him half a hug. “You’re cranky because you miss Alicia, aren’t you?”

How does she do that? “No, I’m not.”

Nikita pinches his cheek, which should be aggravating but actually makes him want to kiss her. “Yes, you are,” she says, in exaggerated baby talk. 

“Why would he miss Alicia?” Michael asks.

“Because she’s smart. Because I could actually talk to her about my work instead of you morons who may need my help but can’t truly appreciate my genius.”

“Moron Michael,” Nikita says. “It rhymes!”

“It’s alliterative,” Birkhoff says. “It doesn’t rhyme.”

“Michael Schmichael,” Nikita says. “How’s that? What about Jerkoff Birkhoff? That definitely rhymes.”

“You didn’t have a chance with her,” Michael says. 

“I totally did! She knew Shadow Walker! She thinks he’s awesome. She thinks I’m awesome.”

“You did good, going after her,” Nikita says. 

“Thanks.”

“And confronting her even though she was packing? That was brave.”

“See, Michael? I’m just as manly as you.”

Michael snorts. “But only half as badass as Nikki.”

“Awww, boys!” Nikita says, affecting a campy southern accent. “Y’all are so sweet to me.” She slips away from Birkoff and turns towards Michael. “So sweet,” she repeats, licking a stripe across his jaw.

“Take it to your room,” Birkhoff says.

Nikita winks at him. “Like you wouldn’t pay a million dollars to watch?”

“I would never.” A million? She’s seriously underestimating both his funds and her own appeal. 

“Anyway,” Nikita says, continuing the earlier thread of the conversation, “if you hadn’t distracted Alicia, that judge would be dead. You did good, nerd.”

“You already said that.”

She purses her lips at him. “You love it. You live for my praise.” She makes more kissy faces at him. “Aren’t you gonna pucker up?”

“Sorry, Nikki. Saving all my best moves for the next time I see Alicia,” he says.

“I hear you. She’s totally beautiful,” Nikita says.

Birkhoff props himself up on his elbow so he can look down at her. “Nikki- you like girls?”

“Of course I like girls. Everyone likes girls. The way Alicia looked at the gala? Her hair was pinned up and she was wearing a strapless dress, and I wanted to stand close behind her. Press kisses across her bare shoulders until she trembled and then wrap both my arms around her waist, draw her in until there’s no space between our bodies, so she feels me draped over her, covering her.” 

“That’s- not a bad image,” Birkhoff says. 

“Mmmm. And then Michael would-”

“Wait. Why is Michael there?” 

“Because,” Michael says, like that answers anything.

“Uh, because why?” Birkhoff says. 

“Because she likes girls but she loves me.”

“It’s true.” Nikita beams at Michael. “Everything’s better with you.”

Birkhoff, everyone, knows Nikita loves Michael, and he’s heard of Daniel, but just because they’re the only two people he’s aware of doesn’t mean she’s never cared about anyone else. “Were you ever in love with a girl?” he wonders. Nikita ignores him, too busy running her fingers through Michael’s hair. “What about-” He’s pushing, being a jerk, because it’s not really any of his business, but he’s seen the intense way they watch each other. “Nikki, what about Alex?” Nikita blinks at him. Shit. That was a step too far. He knows immediately that the moment is gone, that he’s just killed it. “Never mind,” he says, “sorry.” She blinks at him, her mouth twists, and then he realizes she’s crying. “Shit, Nikki, I’m sorry.” He knew the separation from Alex bothered her, but he had no idea it hurt her this much. 

“Michael,” Nikita pleads, raising both her hands up to him. 

“It’s ok,” Michael says, bending down over her, gathering her up in his arms and pulling her towards him until she’s safe in his hold. “It’s ok.” He wipes at her cheeks with his thumbs, presses his mouth to her forehead.

“I’m gonna go,” Birkhoff mumbles, not that it matters. He knows that, after what just happened, they’re not sorry to see him leave. 

Once inside his bedroom he doesn’t bother to close the door. He should, he knows it’s intrusive as hell that he doesn’t, but he needs to hear Nikki’s sobs fade, as they soon do. 

Just as he’s settling down into the silence, he can hear her again. Now she’s moaning, crying out, and he doesn’t hesitate, just gets his pants shoved down past his hips and a hand on his dick. 

It doesn’t matter whether or not he can give her what she needs, it’s only important that someone can.

She may not want him, but that doesn’t mean he loves her any less.


End file.
